There is a case in which the mother with the child books should be managed. Children want to buy a few books, but his mother has to be rigorous review of the book. Eventually bought the books because the child is fiction, the results of the mother would not approve. Reason that his mother, to see more and learn about the book, things that mess no other use except a waste of money. At the same time, the child needs his mother agreed not only to buy books, or even buy a pen the bag to be cross-examined. In short, without a mother’s approval, what can not be bought.

The mother did so, of course, she also has its own reasons. She is hoped that through their control, so dangerous to children and they think something isolated. For example, she felt to see more and learn about the books, otherwise, it is harmful. Therefore, regardless of the child to do something, to go through her judgments. In fact, the so-called child, in essence, just doing her idea of ​​a tool.

In fact, the more control the parents, the children grow more negative. The reason is simple, parents force their children to learn, if the child does not want to learn, no matter how much force, that he did have an effect at most, a learning looks like. You know, human resources is a personal private property, others can not be controlled. If you are a parent, if your child does not like learning, and then forced him to no effect. The right approach is through incentives, to let him out of this initiative to mobilize.

Some parents have to control what, if the child is a little wrong, it will be very angry. For example, some parents check their children work every day, as long as there is wrong, even on a question, will be beaten. Some children said, “to buy gifts for mom, is a waste of money. A gift to my mother, is a waste of time my mother angry, I apologize, apologize to her mother that what’s the use you make mistakes every day, every day to apologize. My mother angry, I cried , my mother felt anxious, on Zaima my meal. “

If the parents of the child over-regulate, the children would lose all freedom. Economic theory tells us that economic prosperity often depends on freedom. This reason, in the family education is the same. Freedom is a choice, no freedom without choice. If the child has no right to make their own decisions, what should parents control continues to do, then the child can not not play. Even if a family as a business, then the various departments within the enterprise there are certain decisions, rather than anything to the headquarters. What do parents have to control, the cost is very high, even alarming. For example, children today and what a friend went out to play, where to go, what chat, and even the details of what is to be managed, then this is a very high cost. Meanwhile, the parents asked the child if the child is not necessarily true answer. After all, parents and children of asymmetric information, the child can hide their parents. For example, the content of their chat, this is how the research?

Understand the economics of common sense knows that too much control are often led to negative results. For example, the government control the price of live beef noodles, beef noodles place but can not control how many slices of beef. Government price down, then put some little meat, the government can Guan Dele it? If the price of rent control to live, then the landlord may request an additional gifts to the tenants. If the parents force their children to complete the number of road subject, then they may copy the answer to deal with. Previously, I read junior high school, language teacher required to complete information on the exercises, or will be punished. I copied directly answer a lot of students to meet the teacher’s examination. Later, the language teachers know that many students are copying answers, very angry and said, if the copy answer, called the class regarded the information back the answer to tear up. Even if the whole class to answer back to tear up the same can not stop this behavior, after all, you can also take other classes of students. At that time, although he, Vice President, you can abuse this power dynamic, the other classmates information answers tear. You know, and our school separated by a wall, there is a middle school, I think he should be busy.

Fortunately, our language teacher is talking about it, did not tear up the answer on our data. That, language teacher inspection, he found the language exercises I basically did not do. He asked me why I did not finish the job? I said that if just to meet him to complete the inspection, the same as other students to copy the answer, then, there is no meaning. Their is no reason not to do so much time, so we do first physical problems. After all, the same time investment, make the lowest output of the language problem. In this way, I am a language teacher for individual students so I can only express frustration.

Junior high school when most of the time I was lazy and did not want to learn. However, for some time, I was very hard. The morning after school, I came home after dinner on the school, of course, did not sleep at noon. In the afternoon, I sometimes sleepy eyes, so lying on the table to sleep. Math teacher asked me why school sleep? I said, sleepy, sleeping on friends, barely down to no effect. In fact, the so-called sleep, just lying there, eyes closed in it. Really, I still prefer the personal reading, not like the teacher in the class. Typically, there is something I have understood, hard on the teacher or in the lecture hall speaking, this has no effect on me, there are some things I do not know, but not see him, or talked about, I still do not understand. Teachers give students assignments, regardless of how the student base case, the job is the same, which is very bad. My headache is that some subjects I studied very well, the teacher assignments for me, is a complete waste materials; some foundation subjects is poor, the teacher assignments, I will not do. Therefore, I think both parents or teachers, or do not control so much, should be more rights to the child.

Take my mother, she always give us clothes, not to buy our own. Her reason is that I would not buy clothes, others worried that I was cheated. Sometimes I buy clothes, but bought the clothes, she was not satisfied, people said I was cheated. Therefore, I order to avoid responsibility, so I will let her buy clothes. Admittedly, my mother bought clothes than I do good. However, I have one and she said, if not to buy me clothes, then I will never buy. People always want a learning process it, if anything for me to do, then when I went to what will not. Later, my mother returned to me this right.

Previously, my grandfather always called me, said I do not understand, then, do not tamper with. Later, I asked him, what do I do if I have the opportunity to learn how. For example, the phone does not touch me, do not give me the TV open, a little practice, had no chance, how can I learn? However, he did not listen to me. Now, some parents have to control what, always worried about children do not understand, so step by step to pointing children.

I once lived in his grandmother, when I was a junior high school. Night, the planning department staff to knock on the door, but also desperately knocked on my bed room window glass. My grandmother, who do not speak out, filled with no one at home, but I could not resist, they cursed them, saying that the foul language, I do not remember. Later, the family planning personnel more crazy, they kicked the door, my grandmother was forced to open the door to them, and had to explain, naive children, want to forgive. At that time, my uncle bought a legal corpus, I will come to them, pointing to the “People’s Republic of China Constitution,” Article 39, “People’s Republic of inviolability of citizens is prohibited illegal search or intrusion into citizens residential. “IPPF staff, a man I know, they say do not guess you know me. Those who take birth control, I would be scolded a. My grandmother taught me all, told me to listen to the government, saying the government is for our words. Really, some parents not only control their children, and gives the children of brainwashing, after they grow up to become a slave.

Many so-called problem youths, not the result of parental control, without the principle of control. Under strict control, the child can only conceal information to parents, resulting in serious asymmetry of information, even their parents can not know the child’s situation. If parents can give their children the right to let the children call the shots, perhaps more willing to ask the children their parents. For example, the children steal the people thing, this is a very bad phenomenon. If parents know that after the severe punishment on the child, the child later to make mistakes, and will not dare tell their parents, more likely to go astray. If the parents know, the patience to give the child reason, there is a humiliation to his inner heart, perhaps he would be bound by the moral force. Economists know that their child had a steal, and said to him, he could easily each time, must have missed the time.

Parents educate their children, do not over-emphasis on individual will, but to respect the objective facts.